Watching You
by Kira Yokai
Summary: Matt thought Mello was his angel, but whoever met an angel at the gates of hell?
1. Chapter 1

I paced back and forth across the dew covered grass outside Mello's house the sound of wet grass squishing beneath my feet. The air was humid and had a chill to it. I stood and shivered as my eyes stared at the window of his house. I would remember that most about that night. How cold it was outside and how I wore nothing, but my striped shirt and a thin hoodie for warmth. The sound of crickets chirping, tiny lights from glowing bugs that had their own secret mating call for one another as I stood patiently for my lover.

He was in there and soon enough I'd get to see him. All I had to do was wait for him to sneak out. Unfortunately his parents weren't really big fans of me. I'm unsure of what I had done to make them hate me, but when they told Mello he couldn't see me we found our own way to see each other without their knowledge. Mello tried hard nonetheless to get his parents to like me to no avail. I bit my nonexistent nails as I paced back and forth. Back and forth.

Looking up for a moment I saw his bedroom light go off and his window lift up with a loud _scratching _noise. Instantly, my heart beat slowed and relief washed over me as I stood in anticipation. Anything could have happened. On my own I worried for Mello sneaking and seeing me because there was no telling what would happen if he got caught. I feared for Mello. His father; making him mad was like releasing a tiger from its cage. So, Hiding from sight this would be his surprise. Instead of having to come to me I'd already be here. This was excitement.

Grinning I watched as a figure climbed out the window. Damn, he'd gained some weight. It hadn't even been that long since the last time I'd seen him either. There had to be a way to get closer, I told myself as I inched closer towards the window watching him closely from behind my goggles.

This was my heaven, he was my heaven. Seeing him, just the anticipation of seeing him... This was _our_ heaven. Squinting at him as he climbed out of the window I could tell that was definitely _not_ Mello. Dark black hair, a lanky physique, the man was not Mello.

Sucking in a breath my heart skipped a beat as I watched the stranger run across the yard. The hell was going on? What had Mello done? The blood that ran through my veins must have stopped because my body went cold and time stopped as I stood by just like a ghost. A ghost who could do nothing, but stare inanimate.

Hiding behind a tree like a creeper I wanted to die. My mind reeled of all the possibilities. I didn't need to be doing this now. My mind ran its rampage, destroying any hope I had as all the possibilities were brought to light. Fuck, fuck! Mello, what had he done? I took a breath as I decided it would be best to wait a respectable amount of time before I pitched a rock at his upstairs window.

I took deep uneven breaths. Dammit! A vibration in my pocket distracted me from my breathing exercises that had never done shit for me in my lifetime so, pulling out my crappy flip phone, I flipped it up the screen illuminating as the message read across the screen. Mello had texted that I could come inside, that it was okay and his mom would explain. Flipping the screen down I shook my head. Mello had always had great timing to spring things on me. Like now.

My phone was easily shoved in my pocket, a cigarette was easily placed between my lips, and easily lit. I took a long drag on it feeling my stress crash into me like a wave. There was nothing I could do out here, but postpone the inevitable. Smoking slowly I counted in my head how long it'd take to get five houses down from my house to his. My cigarette was out by the time I had stopped counting. I popped my knuckles, no way in hell was I prepared, but I had no choice. Without thinking I made the only choice I had: walking up to the front door I knocked.

"Hello Matt," Mello's mom answered the door in all her bubbly glory. "Come inside." Her voice was cheery and overbearing. I could have done without meeting her. She was the exact opposite of Mello. She was one of _those_ people who were happy and gross all the time, one of those people who tried their damnest to infect you with _it_. I wouldn't be fooled.

Her hand was on my back like she'd known me forever as she closed the French doors behind me not forgetting to bolt it. I turned my head my eyes shooting to the dead bolt. No way was I staying that long.

"So, Mello talked to me and his father and I decided that we would give him a chance. He said you wanted to spend the night tonight, but just tonight. If he proves he can handle it you can come over again, but not this week." Mello's mom flashed an award winning smile at me. I smiled back shyly. "His room is upstairs." She said sweetly extending her arm towards the stairs. I bolted up them. I wanted away from her. She appeared to be nice enough, but I knew better. That woman was the devil.

Running to the last door on the left I opened it and walked in. Shutting it behind me I locked it. I didn't want that woman getting in. Fuck that. Turning around my chest tightened as I saw Mello's perfect face. He was smiling as if nothing was wrong; like an innocent. My stomach turned. He looked too perfect. No one was that perfect, but somehow Mello just was. Even in this moment knowing what the both of us did, but didn't have the guts to speak of, he was fucking perfect.

"Matty, I told you they would cave." He patted the place on his black and gray comforter beside him. He was still smiling, I swallowed. Although I felt uncomfortable I still obediently stalked over to the bed and sat beside him. Staring into his icy blues I could see the smile in them. It was a proud smile, a disgusting smile. Coughing I broke the silence.

"Your moms weird. I dont like her."

Mello stroking my hair gently touched the side of my face, that dumb smirk on his face. Immediately I dropped my eyes unable to stomach that damn innocence he had about him. How? After what he did how? Was he really that dead inside? He cupped my chin turning my face towards his. Our eyes met, I swallowed for a second time.

"Most people think so," he whispered as he closed his eyes, lightly pressing his soft lips to mine. I squeezed my eyes shut as he prodded my lips with his wet tongue begging my mouth to invite him inside. I mewled, my mouth seemingly opening on its own as he took control. I was his little finger. He knew it and I knew it.

I grabbed his shoulder with one hand as my other held the back of his head, my fingers lacing into his hair. I lost myself in that kiss as bodies pressed together and hands roamed. Moaning I tore the blonde's shirt off in a manner that said, 'Now isn't soon enough'. It wasn't soon enough, but as he pressed into me I could somehow feel my insides crying.

A pale hand softer than silk stroked the side of my face. His voice rang in my ears as time did nothing, but stop,

"Matt? Matt?! Are you crying?"

That's when I knew. I wasn't cut out for this.

**Review pwease? **


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't me. The tears, the staring distantly, none of it. My cold hands touched my wet face. It was unfamiliar. My tears seemed as though they had a mind of their own as they streamed down my face. I swallowed as I looked up into Mello's. Should I say something? If I did what was I supposed to say? He still looked perfect. Still...

"Matt?" He looked genuinely concerned, but was it just a lie? Could I believe him, much less the expression on his face? There was that look in his eyes that had always drawn me in. It burned, now. No it just fucking hurt now. There was no comfort in it. Who else had he given that look to besides me? I nodded my head,

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just..." It was my turn for lies now. "Missed you." I choked out the last sentence, my heart sinking at the thought of having no choice but to lie to the one person I was supposed to be completely honest with. I wanted him. I wanted that stupid boy so, much that the thought of someone else having him was unbearable. I couldn't do this. I wasn't cut out for it. This wasn't love. I shook my head, pushing the thought away.

"Actually, I was thinking that maybe I should just go home tonight." I sat, folding my hands in my lap. The bed shifted as Mello sat up beside me. I could hear rustling as he pulled his shirt over his head. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I should've said something, but what was the use? He'd do what he wanted regardless.

"You're not okay. I know you, Matt, and you should know me well enough by now to know I can tell when something's wrong." His warm hand touched my shoulder gently. As if he cared. I snuck a glance in his direction at the contact.

"Do I really know you?" I mumbled under my breath. The tension in the air was thick. There was no way Mello couldn't feel it. It only proved that he was a lot better liar than I had given him credit for. His smile, those kind words, all lies. Out of all the things he'd told me, what was true and what wasn't? There was no way of knowing, at least not without asking.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk now. We can talk tomorrow if you want?" Mello patted my back as I got to my feet. He stood beside me in nothing but blue flannel pajama bottoms that came below those protruding hip bones that I had always found irresistible. I wondered who else had found them irresistible.

Turning without saying a word to the blonde, I walked towards the door. My thoughts were racing and my heart was pounding. Mello walked a few silent steps with me before stopping me. His touch on my shoulder, tender, stopped me in my tracks as I turned and faced him. Icy blue eyes met my green ones. He was calm, there was no guilt in his eyes at all. It stung. The more he made a mockery of me the more my heart broke, until finally the unthinkable happened.

Mello turned and he leaned forwards, blonde hair softly brushing the side of my face as he pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was passionate, if only a few seconds long before I broke it to open my mouth to say what neither of us wanted to talk about.

"Matt, dont do this," he interrupted. The look in Mello's eyes held a telltale sign that he knew what I'd seen. He knew!

I stepped back, shaking my head, the feeling of betrayal washing over me. I shook my head more violently. "Mello," I choked out, barely containing my feelings. "Are you cheating on me?"

Mello froze, the room got silent, and at that moment both of us broke.


	3. Chapter 3

"Matt please-"

"No! I want a straight answer Mells!" I was loosing it. The look on Mello's face was a cross between sadness and superiority; that look was making me fucking loose it. I wanted to punch that damn look off his face, that perfect fucking look...

"Matt, I'm sorry. Please just sit down-"

I cut him off quicker than I could think of all the right words to say. My eyes looking up so quick that I could feel light headed if I hadn't been so angry. "Why?! What the fuck Mello! What the fucking hell?! Why would you do this to me?!"

I wanted to hit him so, I began to pace again. I paced. All I remember about that moment, that night is the yelling, the pacing, and the look that seemed to had plastered itself on Mello's face. He had tried to slowly inch his way towards me, but I shot him a quick glance before clenching my fist and pushing past him to continue my pacing.

The room became very still and quiet like the calm before the storm. Aside from my pacing that created the dull sound of shoed feet on carpet there wasn't a noise in the medium sized room. My mind, my ears, they were all clouded with the simplest of noises. Tonight I couldn't focus on anything, but the carpet. What was I supposed to do? I looked up at Mello who had seated himself on the edge of his bed which groaned in response to him sitting. I shot my goggled eyes over to him they burned as they stared with disappointment. Who was so important that he'd throw me away?

"I didn't toss you away Matt. I swear." Mello's voice was low, but collected. His tone made me think that maybe he felt this wasn't as serious to him as it was to me. His head was hung low as he spoke. He seemed to be gazing off in no particular direction. He was deep in Thought. I could tell. He always stared off as if he was day dreaming when he was thinking hard.

"Then what were you doing if you weren't throwing me away?"  
"I just didn't think you were so, serious about all of this. It's not like we're dating." Mello mumbled. My body began shaking, my emotions threatening to overflow. I wanted to run. I wanted to cover my ears and block out the world. We weren't dating that was the truth. It was painful to think that I had been so serious despite that fact. Releasing a breath I shook my head. I couldn't do this, my insides hurt too much.

"Im leaving," turning towards the door my hand hesitated as it stopped in mid reach for the golden knob, but not quite grabbing it. Maybe I could be okay with it. Maybe I could stay here and pretend it didn't happen. My arm dropped to my side. I could stay because nothing changed. I could still have Mello even if he had someone else. At least Mello was mine. Right?

I didn't believe any of that bullshit, but maybe I could. I would if it meant I could have Mello. So, why then was my heart breaking and my feelings overflowing onto my cheeks? I was in love with what I knew would kill me.


	4. Chapter 4

I had a bad habit of doing things that caused more harm than help. I was self destructive, but I thrived on it and delved in it.

Mello's arm was wrapped around my midsection as he slept and I lied awake staring at his ceiling wishing that I was at home staring at the stars instead. I couldn't bring myself to leave him. We weren't dating that was a fact, he was right. I could live with that. I snuggled closer. Mello and I had been like "this" for awhile. Things weren't ever going to change if I could help it.

The buzzing of Mello's phone vibrating against my hip in his pocket caught my attention. This was the fifth time. Snaking my hand into his pajama pants I pulled his phone out curious. The screen was illuminated with an unsaved number that I certainly did not recognize. Curiosity and fear I might say, washed over me. I wanted to, but didn't want to. I went to unlock it my hand shaking and my pulse speeding up. My chest felt as though a bomb had been set off in it- I was terrified. My palms even began to sweat.

I unlocked it and clicked on the message and almost immediately Mello grabbed my wrist.

"Is this where we're at in our relationship Matt?" He snapped pulling his phone out of my hands. He threw his Samsung on the floor before scratching his head and sitting up. I followed suit.

"we're not dating though." I responded fiddling with his comforter. I didn't dare look into his eyes. Though the room was dark I knew I'd be able to see into them and that scared me. What I'd see In those icy blue orbs scared the hell out of me.

"Point made. We aren't dating so, don't act like you have the right to go through my phone like a paranoid girl." He was cold. Mello knew how I hated to be referred to as a girl. Tonight he didn't care. Tonight he'd be cold because he knew he was wrong. I smiled at the thought as I dared copped a look into his face that was glaring holes in me. "The fuck is that smile?"

"Let's go back to bed. There's no point in doing this." Laying back I commenced to staring at the ceiling once again only this time Mello had climbed on top of me, blond tresses lightly brushing my cheeks, powerful hands around my wrists holding them down, and his legs I entwined with mine. I smiled. "I upset you?"

"Matt, I get it. Sleeping with other people upsets you. Let it go." Where had it come from? I hadn't spoken a word of it. I had avoided it altogether because how badly it hurt to think about it. Mello was okay with it though. I never would be.

"Dump him." My eyes stared into his the fear melting away. Mello was no good at hiding his feelings not like I was. Right then he was frustrated. I could tell he wanted to hit something. My smile widened.

"You mean them."

I arched an eyebrow. Maybe tonight I couldn't contain my feelings, Maybe tonight I'd beat the living hell out of him, maybe tonight I would prove to Mello that I was worth more. Was he for real? There was more guys?

"How many?"

"Three altogether." He was smirking.

"You slut."

"I didn't commit. So, are we in agreement you'll stop the whole crazy girlfriend thing?"

I wanted to punch him. Hard. Instead I shook my head yes, leaned in, and kissed him as if everything was okay. No, this was just the beginning. I was determined to get even.


	5. Chapter 5

I sat in my bedroom reviewing the events that had taken place. Why? Why would Mello do this to me? Did I mean that little to him? My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was the fifth text message that he sent me today. This one said,

_Matt please, talk to me._

I rolled my eyes. What was he going to say? There wasn't a thing he could say to make me feel better about what happened. He had to know that. This time Mello had fucked up. He'd done something; something more than just cheating on me. He betrayed my trust, he took away the reason to believe in his loyalty. Okay so, maybe we weren't officially dating, but a part of me had believed that on some level we were. I knew from the beginning of our friendship to when we began having sex that Mello had screwed around a lot. Maybe I believed I was different from other guys, but apparently I'd been wrong.

I let out a breath snuggling underneath my covers. I wouldn't allow Mello to infect me in this way. I couldn't. He'd been my whole life since we were kids and now it was apparent that I hadn't been the only one in his. Maybe it was selfish of me, but if that was so, then I guess I'm a selfish person.

I stayed under my blankets remembering and replaying all my thoughts and feelings. Tomorrow was a new day. Maybe tomorrow I would be up to talking to Mello, but one way or another I was not about to allow myself to be pulled in…

I woke up. At first I was in the best mood until _wham!_ It hit me like a ton of bricks. The day before yesterday. I sighed heavily. I wish I could forget about it already. I didn't want to remember, but I did and it'd be the death of me.

Getting a shower and getting dressed I went into the kitchen that as always, was parent less due to them working. I sat at the round wooden table where cereal and a green bowl with a folded piece of paper under it and spoon sat waiting for me patiently Lifting up the green bowl I pulled the folded piece of paper out from under it. Setting the bowl back down I f don't of me I unfolded the piece of paper. It read:

_Matt, breakfast is on the table. I wanted to let you know that I will be working late tonight. So, be a good boy do your homework and eat the dinner I prepared for you in the fridge. _

_Love , _

_Mother_

I smiled as I put the paper back on the table. Pouring me out some cereal into the bowl I got up, went to the fridge, and pulled out the carton of milk. Sitting back down I poured me out some into the bowl and began to eat. Today could be a long day. Not if I could help it though.

After I got done eating I sauntered back off to my room and climbed in bed. Smiling as I pulled the covers over my head and hid my face under my pillow. And my mother actually thought I'd go to school today.

I have no idea what time it was when out of no where I heard beating on my on my front door. Pulling my head out from underneath the blankets I searched around the room which was now pitch black. _Shit_, I thought to myself. I'd slept all day.

Climbing out of bed I slowly made my way to the front door opening it to reveal a worried looking blonde. He rushed inside as I shut the door and locked it behind him.

"The hell you been all day? I tried calling you like five times. Hell, I even texted, but look what good that did."

I arched an eyebrow. Well, he didn't have to be snippy.

"I've been asleep." I scratched my head walking past Mello and to the sofa where I plopped down and turned the tv on. Some crime Show was on. Disinterestedly I watched it not really paying attention to Mello who seemed to be on a rant. Shouldn't that be me actually? I mean really? I shook my head crossing my arms over my chest.

"Matt! Are you even listening."

Mello was standing in front of me now blocking my view of the television. I looked up and immediately feelings that I a hadn't wanted began to rush up into my chest. I swallowed hard.

"Yeah…" I barely even whispered. "I'm listening." I don't know if I actually said it out loud or not, but how? How could I be okay with him?

"…ahhh do you want to be stupid is that why you ditched? I'm just glad your okay," Mello sat down next to me the seat cushions shifting. Putting his arm around my waist he pulled me closer to him. "Just answer my texts and calls next time you're going to ditch school so, I don't have to be worried about you all day long."

The feelings only continued to bubble up. I could feel so mad at him when he wasn't around, but as soon as I saw him I was okay with him. I shook my head. This wasn't right was it?

His fingers ran up and down my arm gently as he went on about the show we were watching. All I could focus on was how gently his fingers stroked my arm, how he sat there next to me making me feel so comfortable, how he pretended as though nothing happened. Slowly I felt myself relax into him. Before I knew it I was leaning my head against his shoulder and lacing our fingers together as I nodded and pretended to listen. All I saw was him. Yesterday or the day before didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was him.

Maybe, just maybe I could forgive him. Maybe, I was cut out for this and if not I would make myself be.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: This chapter is ssuper short. I'm sawry! Hope you still enjoy though :D**

Was I cut out for this? My hand gripped the warm hand that I held on to; I wasnt. Every few minutes I found myself looking at his pocket that held his phone. I found myself not focusing on the beautiful scenery around me, but the words he had spoken to me and who else he had told the exact same thing to. I wanted to be cut out for this kind of relationship because it was the only relationship I'd ever have with Mello. If I couldn't be okay then I would for sure loose him. I didn't want that, Mello is my everything.

The feelings I had for him wouldn't let me be. As we walked through the park I hadn't listened to a word he had spoken to me. He noticed.

"Matt, I feel like I'm talking to the air. Are you listening?" He had stopped walking to look at me. I let go of his hand, my heart racing, the need to hold him close overwhelming me. I felt that maybe if I had, time would stop forever and then he would finally be mine. It was a dumb fantasy. I wanted him, but he didn't want me.

"I'm sorry Mello, I just have a lot on my mind." It wasn't a lie. He was on my mind, but I couldn't tell him that. He said he never wanted to hear about it so, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't talk to him and if he had known what I was feeling I'm sure it would scare him off. Instead I smiled weakly at him. "We can go to my house and eat something now if you want."

Mello pulled his phone out checking it before locking it and shoving it back in his pants pocket. He looked at me briefly before patting the top of my head. Everytime he patted my head like that it never failed to make me see the difference in our maturity. I felt like a child.

"I can't. I have somewhere I have to go. Maybe I can stop by later?"

Mello gave me a pleading look. Only because he knew that we both knew where he was going and what he was going to do and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it either. It killed me as I nodded my head 'yes' and kissed him, sending him into the arms of some other guy who too would kiss and touch him.

I think what got me more as we parted ways and I began to walk home by myself is that after he was done he would be coming to me for more. How, can I say no to him though? How could I tell the man I love no? I was just as dependent on him as he was on me. The only difference was I was in love with him.

What was even more pathetic as soon as I got home I took a quick shower and sat in my room as I waited for him. I waited and waited and waited. I'd be waiting for Mello for the rest of my life I feared.


	7. Chapter 7

Time had gone by slowly, my thoughts getting the better of me. What was I going to do now? Mello had been acting like nothing had happened. My stomach turned at how he could do this to me. I keep telling myself that it's okay because we aren't that serious, but I know better. Every time were together I feel closer to him than I have ever felt to anyone in my life. Even now looking over at him I feel butterflies in my stomach. I just want to hold his hand and never let it go.

Mello looked over at me for a moment a smile on his face before pulling his phone out and checking it. My curiosity has gotten the better of me as he texts away. I push down all the feelings that I have to the pit of my stomach. This isn't who I am, but I want Mello to be mine and mine only. When he finished texting he looked over at me with a smile,

"I have to go. I'll be back in like an hour okay?"

He leaned in pressing his lips to mine briefly.

I couldn't do this. As I looked up at the blond as he was slipping into his jacket something inside me told me to just do it.

"Mello, will you go out with me? Just me and you."

My heart beat wildly, my hands getting sweaty. What was I thinking asking? This was stupid. He would never go—

"Like can we date?" He laughed putting his jacket on and zipping it. "Matt we have had this conversation before if I'm remembering correctly." He shook his head as he opened my bedroom door. "I'll think about it, but I have to go."

I didn't say a word as he left. Sure he'd think about. I rolled my eyes as I laid back on my bed. He'd come back after doing whatever and he'd act like I had never asked. All I could do was lay in bed and dream. Maybe there was hope and he'd choose me. I wasn't betting anything on it.

Later on that night Mello had come back to stay the night with me. We were both in the living room watching tv as I smoked a cigarette. I kept thinking of way to bring it back up, but I was unsure of how. Maybe I should let it go? I shrugged.

"What's wrong?"

Mello asked scooting the ashtray closer to me.

"Nothing," I responded. What was the use anyway. I was only a friend that he could have sex with and talk to when he was bored. Someone else had his time. I was insignificant so, why? Why was I doing this to myself?

"You sure?"

Nodding my head I leaned against him taking a long drag on my cigarette. I had never enjoyed a cigarette so, much in my life before. This was just how life would be. Looking up at him I'd make this work somehow. I wasn't giving up without a fight.


	8. Chapter 8

Two weeks had passed since I had asked Mello out. Nothing had changed. He avoided the question as I thought he would and I ignored the fact that he had not had any interest in me in that way.

I sat on his doorstep. It was late and Mello had texted me to come over as he always did only this time he had asked me to come over as soon as I could. The entire way to his house I had wondered why he had wanted me over so, bad. So, sitting on his parent's doorstep I waited patiently.

The sun was beaming down intensely making the air hot and dry. I had already stripped off my striped shirt and sat in my tank top. I'd been sitting for at least an hour holding back the urge to text and or call him. My nerves were on edge; I was anxious.

Pulling my phone from the pocket of my jeans I checked the time. His parent's car wasn't parked in the driveway and it seemed as though no one was home. Across the street I could see his neighbors who had gotten home thirty minutes into my waiting outside together as a family playing ball and grilling. The time read 4:30pm.

I let out a breath. It seemed as though when it came to Mello I always did a lot of waiting. It was okay though because the waiting was always worth being around him. The fact I had to work at it made it all worth it.

Looking up at the sky I began dreaming of what it'd be like to be with Mello all of the time. For me to be the only thing Mello needed, what Mello wanted most in the world.

Thirty minutes had probably passed when I saw the blond waking up the sidewalk towards his house. For a moment an overwhelming urge to run and meet him built up in me. Instead, I decided to let the blond walk at his own pace to me.

I copped a couple glances at the blond as he was walking towards me. The sun glinted off his blond hair that would make Marilyn Monroe jealous. He was perfect in every way. Seeing him just reminded me how much I loved him.

"Matt," he greeted as he walked up the driveway towards me.

I smiled at him briefly standing up. He had a serious look on his face. I could tell he had something he wanted to tell me.

Standing in front of me he motioned for me to sit back down. Sitting down I moved over Patting the spot next to me as Mello sat down as well.

There was no doubt in my mind that Mello had something serious he wanted to talk to me about. A part of me was afraid, but at the same time curious. A few scenarios played themselves out in my head. None of which were in the slightest believable.

"I'm glad you were here. I didn't think you'd wait on me." Mello turned his head to look at me making a face when he saw me lighting a cigarette.

"Yeah, of course," I said taking a long drag on my cigarette.

"Matt I have something important I wanted to talk to you about. So, please just listen. Okay?"

At that moment I felt my heart stop.


	9. Chapter 9

I looked at Mello, taking another drag of my cigarette. Releasing the smoke from my lungs I nodded my head. My stomach was in knots with no knowing of what he was about to say. Bracing myself I prepared myself for the words, _I don't want to see you anymore_.

Mello's eyes had made contact with the pavement as he fiddled with his fingers. I could tell he was nervous. My stomach tied itself in knots.

"Matt, remember when you said that you wanted to be with me? Well, I thought about it and if you honestly think it could work out between us then I'd like to try," Mello looked up at me briefly before quickly averting his eyes away, his face redder than any stop sign I'd seen.

There was no way I could hold back my excitement. I had waited for this moment for so, long it didn't feel real. Sure, I had pictured it dramatically different than this, but I was okay. I was okay…

Swallowing hard I spoke, "Mello are you sure?" I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

"Matt, I'm saying this to you now. Of course I'm serious," Mello had continued to stare at the ground as he spoke, "just don't make me regret this Matt."

Lifting his head up, there was a deep sea of blue gazing into my own goggled eyes. I will always remember that moment because of how he grabbed my cigarette out of my hand, throwing it on the ground as he placed both of his soft hands on either side of my face pulling it towards his and pressing pink soft lips against mine.

Our kiss was passionate and slow at first, but had quickly become heated. I held the blond close taking control and pulling on his face gently, coaxing it closer to my own.

Mello's breath was ragged as he let out soft moans. I noticed one of his hands laid gently on the pavement beside him holding him flush against me while his other gripped my shoulder. Loosing myself in him was almost too easy. Forgetting our surroundings was even easier as one of my hands slid underneath his black hoodie exploring his soft milky skin that I was all too familiar with.

Slowly a gasp made it out of my mouth when I felt Mello's hand grab my crotch over my jeans. He bit my lip gently before pulling back and whispering low in the shell of my ear seductively,

"Matt, let's go to my room."

If it was possible I got harder. I bucked into his hand before pulling the blond closer until eventually he just straddled my lap. Sliding my hands to his leather clad ass I sqooze biting and sucking on his pale neck until…

"MIHAEL KEEHL! GET IN THE HOUSE NOW!"

Immediately we both scrambled apart and looked up to see none other than Mrs. Keehl standing over us with groceries and a furious look on her face.

Pretty sure I'm not ever going to be aloud to spend the night again…ever.


	10. Chapter 10

_1 year later_

I had been on the couch as Mello slept in my room. We had been seeing each other for one year now. It was a remarkable feeling knowing that he belonged to me and no one else. Nevertheless, it was almost too good to be true. In lieu of some reason I had been vigilant with him a lot lately unknowing what I was to do. Something mysterious inside me told me not to trust him. I don't know why. Everything had been okay between Mello and I. I think that maybe it was just my nerves. At least that's what I told myself. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't will the feeling away.

I lay back on the couch letting a deep breath of air out of my lungs. I needed a cigarette. Leaning back up I stretched before leaning forward towards the coffee table and grabbing my pack of cigarettes, pulling one out, and lighting it between my lips. I thought about going through his phone, but if I did and Mello found out then there'd be trouble and I had already told myself previously to getting with Mello that I would not go through his phone; that I would not get clingy. Clingy didn't look good on me. _Maybe though, just maybe I love Mello too much_, I thought as I tiptoed back into my bedroom where the blonde slept on my bed and where his phone laid on the bedside table. I stood looking intently at it before shaking my head a bit. No I couldn't do it. On the inside, my body was screaming at me to pick it up and go through it, but my mind easing itself said I wouldn't find anything and that I was being stupid. So, yes I shook my head as I made my way back to the living room to sit on the couch and smoke another cigarette. Why? Because I couldn't get clingy, like I said, _no one likes clingy_.

After finishing my cigarette I sauntered back to the bedroom. Tomorrow would be better. Mello and I were going to hang out with one of his friends. Maybe, that would ease my mind one way or another. Climbing in bed I fixed my eyes on Mello. He was absolutely striking. Everything about him was impressive. My mind had always been in awe of him. He had never ceased to surprise me.

I smiled a little before wrapping my arms around him and holding him close. After that I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I was aware of was the blonde leaning over me shaking me violently. I peeled my eyes open, bringing my fisted hands to my eyes rubbing. What time was it anyway? I laid my hands in my lap as I looked up into Mello's face that displayed a frustrated look.

"What time is it?" I questioned scratching the side of my head. I sat up causing Mello to tilt up more as he straddled my hips; sitting atop my lap. He crossed his arms across his chest flipping his hair out of his face.

"It's past noon." He stated sternly.

I glanced at the alarm clock. It read one Pm.

"That doesn't tell me the time." I stated back just as sternly realizing that I had overslept from staying up last night. I only stayed up so late because of Mello so, technically wasn't this his fault? Either way he rolled his eyes and climbed off me to stand beside the bed.

"It doesn't matter. What _does_ matter is the fact that Ren has been sitting here waiting on you since ten this morning. Or did you just not care?" Mello spat as he angrily threw my jeans in my face. I swatted getting a face full of jeans. Grabbing them I stood atop the bed jerking them onto my hips, zipping the zipper. Climbing down off the bed I grabbed my striped shirt pulling it on. Mello was in a mood today which meant that I'd have to play nice until he realized how dumb he was being. Sometimes it was a headache, but thinking onto last night he was worth it. He had to be especially, since I could lose sleep over him.

"Sorry, Sorry I'm hurrying," I sat on the edge of the bed, Mello handing me a pair of socks. "Where the fuck is he now?" I asked sliding a sock onto each foot.

"The living room," Mello chuckled to himself. "He's smoking up your cigarettes."

I stepped into my shoes. Why would Mello let anyone do that? Did I or my mom look like we were made out money? Cigarettes aren't cheap, unless you buy the really cheap ones I suppose. Argument for another day though.

"Fuck, Mello why would you let him do that?!" I exclaimed running into the living room. I could hear Mello laughing behind me. Mentally I rolled my eyes.

Entering the living room I could smell the sweet smell of Marlboro reds in the air. I inhaled. Slanting my eyes I stared at the evil being that thought it was okay to go into other people's houses and smoke up their cigarettes like they owned a damn factory of them. I cleared my throat pretty loud making my presence known.

The alleged Ren turned his black haired head around to face me. He smiled at me as he stood to his full lofty height. I was taken aback, in spite of this I still had a war to pursue with him.

"You must be Matt," Ren's composed voice said. "Mello told me about you." He smiled at me and for a moment I felt as though I had seen him before. My mind quickly dismissed it despite this.

"Yes, and you must be Ren, the _outlandish_ creature who has stolen my cigarettes!" I fake- exclaimed as I waved my arms in the air in a surprised manner. Of course this was my poor attempt to be sarcastic, but honestly that had gotten on my nerves. Ren didn't seem to care though. He covered his mouth in a shy manner as he busted out laughing. I could feel heat rush to my face unaware if whether or not if I was blushing just then. Mello patted me on the back as he joined the laughter.

"Ren, Matt's a little high strung," He laughed.

"What?! Where's this coming from? Aren't I the victim here? I mean he _stole_ my cigarettes!" I looked around the room for any sign of acknowledgement; there was none. I let out breath, "I'm going to the store and then we can leave."

"I can take you." Ren offered as I got to the front door. I turned and stared at him for a second. I thought about it really hard, but for some reason I was in a bad mood and didn't want to say anything mean. So, shaking my head I opened the front door and walked out it.

As I walked to the gas station I kept having a feeling about that guy Ren. There was something I didn't really like about him. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something about him. Maybe it was his personality or the strange feeling that I had seen him somewhere before. It didn't take very long for me to get to the store and back. The walk had been surprisingly calming as well. My irritation had melted away, that when I had reached my front door I was actually looking forward to hanging out with Mello's friend. The nervousness about the whole thing was nearly gone.

Opening the door I looked up and for a second my eyes and mind unable to believe the scene before me. This was some sick joke right?


End file.
